Kairi: Boulder, Colorado, 2019
         
         The small velvet box thumped onto the blacktop like a tiny eight-hundred-pound gorilla. Kairi was packing the car for her spring break road trip when it fell out of her boyfriend Josh's duffel bag.
         After checking to see if anyone else in the dorm parking lot had seen (they hadn't), she stared at it for at least a minute. She was surprised. They'd been dating for less than a year. Did people get engaged after less than a year? But marrying him would be awesome. She'd wanted a family forever. Her heart was thumping so loudly people must have been able to hear it all over Colorado.
         Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe it wasn't an engagement ring.
         Kairi did pick up the box and look inside. The lid opened with a snap, exposing a smallish diamond on a silver-colored band. She didn't know anything about diamonds, or silver-colored bands for that matter, but it was really pretty.
         She did not try the ring on. That was her story and she was sticking to it.
         Suffice it to say, when her roommate, Dakota, came up behind her, she jumped sky-high.
         "Have you still been having those weird dreams, Kairi? Ooh! What's that?" Dakota asked. As she leaned over, Kairi got a whiff of pot from her hair. "Oh, my God! Are you engaged?" She squealed.
         Quickly, Kairi shoved the ring back in the duffel. "No, I'm not engaged. He hasn't asked me yet."
         "But you're going to say yes when he asks, right?" Dakota asked.
         Visions of a perfect family life were running through Kairi's head: sharing her experiences of the day at dinnertime, waking up with that special someone, knowing for sure she had someone in her corner. And the holidays—they would be great, filled with fun and love instead of boredom, loneliness and worse. Her life so far had been pretty horrible. Josh was by far the best thing that had happened to her.
         "Kairi?" Dakota frowned. "Are you considering saying no?" Dakota was also one of the best things that had happened to her. She was like a sister, even though they looked so different: Dakota so light and Kairi so dark.
         "No, I'm not going to say no." But, he hadn't actually asked her. She was so confused. Why would he ask her to marry him? He came from a good family and she didn't even know where she came from. Of course, she'd been fantasizing that he'd ask her some day. "You don't think the ring might be for someone else, do you?"
         "What? His secret girlfriend? No way, girl. You're getting married!" Dakota squealed again. "Pam is so going to kill you!" Pam was her foster mom.
         "Pam would not kill me if I got engaged," Kairi said.
         "Yeah huh, she would," Dakota said. "She totally would. You swore you'd get your degree."
         "Maybe we'll just have a long engagement," she said.
         "Yeah, right," Dakota said. "That's realistic."
         "Hey, Dakota." Josh's voice rang out across the parking lot.
         "Shh," Kairi whispered and held up her bare finger. "Not a word. You don't know a thing."
         "Hey, Josh," Dakota said in a singsong voice as he approached them. "So. . .any special plans for spring break?"
         Josh grinned. "You mean besides driving across the country to drink beer on the beach?"
         "Oh, you know--" Dakota started to say but Kairi poked her with her elbow.
         "We should get going," Kairi said. "We're burning daylight."
         Dakota giggled. "Burning."
         Josh leaned around Kairi and put Electromagnetic Theory and Special Relativity books on top of the suitcases.
         Kairi smiled. "A little light reading?"
         He put his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. "Yep," he said in his low, husky, sexy voice. She loved that voice. The brush of his lips and his warm breath on her neck made her warm all over.
         The edges of his eyes crinkled as he smiled when she twisted around and looked at him. He let go of her and said, "Ready to roll?"
         "Yep." She turned to Dakota. "Bye, D."
         "Bye." Dakota giggled and started walking back to the dorm. Then she stopped and turned around. "Call me! Let me know what happens."
         "Am I mistaken, or is she high again?" Josh asked.
         Kairi watched her try to unlock the dorm door. "Oh, be nice. Dakota's been through a lot."
         "So have you, and I don't see you toking up all the time," Josh said. "I know you think of her as a sister, but you're too easy on her."
         At least one person on earth should be easy on her. Kairi slammed the trunk closed. "She was my foster sister and I'm not too easy on her." But she didn't want to have this argument again. "Let's talk about it later." Or not at all.
         Kairi walked toward the passenger seat. Now that she knew about the ring, the suspense was killing her. Was he going to ask her? How would he do it? In the car? On the beach? Maybe on the beach at sunset.
         He was unlocking the driver's door. "It's around twenty hours till we get to Padre." He smiled at her over the roof of the car. "I think we'll have a chance to talk."
         She said, "Can't argue with that."
         As they drove through Boulder, she kept staring at him. If they got married, what kind of husband would he be? What kind of wife would she be? What would their kids be like? What would they look like? They had nothing in common in the looks department except dark-brown wavy hair. And eyebrows. They both had thick dark-brown eyebrows. But he had gray-blue eyes and hers were brown. He had white skin, and hers was the color of chai tea.
         He shot her a glance. "What?"
         "What do you mean what?"
         "What's up? Why've you been staring at me? Wait." He flashed his teeth at her. "Don't tell me, I look particularly handsome today."
         He did look handsome, but she couldn't say that. He'd get even cockier than he already was. "Uh, just wondering what you were thinking." When you bought that ring. Could he really want to marry her?
         He grinned. "Thinking, when?"
         "Uh, well, I was packing your duffel in the back and something fell out." Enter gorilla; welcome to spring break. Shoot. So much for a romantic setting.
         "Oh?" His face stilled and he shot her another glance.
         "You know I really care about you, right?" Kairi mustered up what she hoped was a warm smile. Ask me. Ask me. Ask me.
         "Care about me?" he choked out. "Gee, thanks. I thought it was more than that."
         Crap. "It is. It is more than that. You're important to me. Really important." She needed to say it: the l-word. But she'd never said the l-word to anyone.
         His face was turning red.
         Shit. Say it. "You're the most important person in the world to me." Say it, Kair! She couldn't say it. He needed to hear it and she needed to say it. And she felt horrible and mad at herself about it. What was wrong with her? Her mind skittered away from the back seat of that car years ago. . .
         "Kairi, what's wrong?" Josh was staring at her instead of the road, clutching the wheel with an iron grip.
         "Watch the road," she managed to say.
         He pulled the car off onto the shoulder. "What's wrong?" His face was turning red, and he clenched and unclenched his fists. But she knew he'd never hurt her--unlike other people--that was one of the things that was so wonderful about him.
         She just looked at him.
         "Excuse me," he said, "if the thought of marrying me makes you upset. It's not like I even asked you yet!"
         She'd never seen him so hurt. She had to do some damage control or this relationship was over. Now. That was the last thing she wanted. "I, uh, apologize if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. The idea of marrying you doesn't make me upset." She took a deep breath. It was now or never. "I do love you. I love you--and that's the first time I've ever said that to anyone."
         His face smoothed. "So, what's going on? Why are you so upset?"
         "I'm not sure." She swallowed. Figure it out, girl. "I guess I'm just scared."
         "Just a sec." He bounded out of the car, opened the trunk and rooted around in his duffel bag. When he came back he handed her a ...tissue.
         She took the tissue, laughing, and blew her nose. She'd been sure he was going to expose the gorilla. She wiped her eyes and heard The Snap.
         When she looked back at Josh, sure enough, he had the ring out and looked deadly serious. "This isn't how I planned to ask you, and it's not romantic, I know. But I just love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He held his breath, holding the ring out.
         It seemed as if time stopped. She looked at his wonderful face, eyes filled with hope, and it felt as if her chest was being crushed. She was so afraid, she couldn't breathe. Did he really want her? Did that mean he didn't really know her? She wished, no prayed, he did want her.
         Finally, she said, "Josh..."
         As she hesitated, the naïve look of hope on his face was morphing into something else. Something sad.
         "Uh," she said. "Yes."
         "Really?" His voice got all high and squeaky.
         "Sure," she said.
         "I love you so much," Josh said and reached for her.
         "I love you, too," she said. It was getting easier to say. They kissed for quite a while.
         "I love you no matter what," he said when they finally separated. He held out the box. "So, put it on."
         "I, uh," she said. There were those hopeful eyes again. "Okay." She took the ring and slipped it on her finger. "So, maybe we should get going?"
         "Yes, ma'am. Yes, fiancée!" He gave a grin and saluted her. "Your wish is my command."
         As they pulled back into traffic, she concentrated on calming down. What was wrong with her? Josh was great. She'd never find a better guy and he loved her. She did love him. And it was her dream to have a family. If they got married, he'd be her family. So, why did she feel terrified?
         "Is there anything you want to ask me?" he asked.
         Like, why would a guy like him love a girl like her? When would he stop being in love with her? What's it like to have everything easy? What's it like having a mom and dad? But she knew asking any of those questions would be a mistake. "Uh. Boxers or briefs today?" She forced a laugh.
         Josh snickered. "In honor of spring break, I'm free-dogging it today."
         Now it was her turn to snicker.
         
         Southeast Colorado was downright boring. The view out the windows was of unending worn-out grass, and the hum of tires on the pavement was practically a lullaby.
         Northeast Oklahoma wasn't any better and she was dozing when that annoying emergency alert blared on the radio. "The National Weather Service has issued a tornado warning for Union County in northeast New Mexico. National Weather Service Doppler Radar indicated a funnel cloud near the ground ten miles southwest of Clayton. Residents in the area should seek shelter immediately." The radio was overcome with static and Josh switched it off.
         She realized while she'd been sleeping it had clouded over. "Maybe we should seek shelter?"
         Josh snorted. "It's all the way over in New Mexico. We're in Oklahoma, babe."
         She had no idea where Union County was, but she could see the clouds overhead were very dark. "It can't be a good sign that we heard the emergency alert on the radio."
         "We're fine," Josh said.
         She just looked at him.
         "I'm sure, Kair," he said, and reached over to squeeze her hand.
         "Okay, if you're sure," she said and settled back in her seat.
         
         She dreamt of a freight train coming to run her over, roaring louder and louder as it got closer and closer.
         And then she woke up, lying on the side of the highway. In the sun. It took a couple seconds for it to register.
         Where was she?
         She stood up.
         Where was Josh?
         Where was the car?
         What the hell was going on?
         "Josh!" she yelled. But it was no use. She could see a long ways and all she saw was sad old grass and an unbroken ribbon of empty highway.